With Valentine’s Day closing in fast, the heat is on for women to find Mr. Right and score that eternal smooch. Unfortunately, sniffing him out may prove to be less effective than just enjoying life and waiting for him to come to you.

For those who are dating, there are a few things that other women suggest to keep in mind.

Most women would be quick to say that they know exactly who they are and what they want, and some may be right. For those remaining, Barbara Peacock suggests taking some time to yourself, however long you feel you need, to just discover you.

“I think you need time to know yourself, embrace your relationships with your friends, your family and figure out what’s good for you,” Peacock said.

She was 30 years old when she started dating her future husband, a successful local DJ whom she first met through her work at a local surgeon’s office. At that time, he was caring for his mother who was terminally ill and for Peacock that spoke volumes about his personality.

Soon after his mother’s surgery, Gary sent her a gift of a long distance calling certificate. She called him to politely refuse the gift but was offered a first date instead. They went together to a friend’s 40th birthday party and after that, Peacock said, she was absolutely sure he was the one.

“We just had a lovely night visiting, just visiting, and talking through the night until the sun came up,” Peacock said. “It really is a romantic story.”

Six weeks later they were husband and wife.

At 30 years old, Peacock says she would be lying if she said she didn’t want a relationship, but at the same time she had accepted that being single wasn’t such a bad thing. Those three decades of patience certainly paid off.

“I think it’s a better idea to live with yourself for a while and understand your little quirks because when you’re younger you may not understand yourself as well as you think you do,” Peacock said.

BE HONEST

After you’ve taken some time to yourself and discovered what you want, don’t be afraid to make it known to your significant other. By the same token, don’t be afraid to tell them if you definitely don’t want or like something, either. Be honest from the start. “Sometimes I would do things that maybe I wouldn’t enjoy or really didn’t want to do but I wanted to be this perfect person for him,” said Barbara Collin.

Collin recalls her experiences hiking with her future husband before she quit smoking, which, because of the habit, took much of the enjoyment out the activity. She says she thinks it must be human nature to want to please who we’re with, but says don’t be so selfless that you’ll do anything, no matter what.

GET INVOLVED

In a small town such as Plattsburgh, it might be a challenge to find someone interesting that you don’t already know. If that’s the case, try getting involved with local groups or clubs that interest you. The people there tend to have similar interests and that’s something to break the ice and eventually connect over. A sophomore in college, Kathleen Insley took an interest in a fundraising event on campus where people were “auctioning themselves off as servants.”

“I actually bought [my husband] for the rock-bottom price of about five bucks,” she said.

Since then they’ve been inseparable. Dinner dates helped the couple to open up further and even a few years of a long distance relationship during law school didn’t do them in. As a married couple, Insley and her husband stay connected with the community by playing volleyball and soccer at the local gym.

As funny as the thought of Insley buying her future husband is, the fact that she tried something new and out of the ordinary is the most important part. Staying open to new things and avoiding assumptions could be the key to finding that special someone.

DON'T WRITE OFF YOUR “EX”

For some people, they are destined to be together, but they don’t always listen to destiny the first time. Kelly Bresett first met her husband, Scott, at a school dance when she was in eighth grade and he was in tenth. After dating for about two to three weeks, she said he broke up with her and they went their separate ways.

After several years went by, they found themselves working for the same company. After a few weeks, Scott e-mailed her, asking her how she was and they became friends again. They started eating lunch together, then dating again, and now nine years later they are married and have a little girl.

“You just never know what will happen later,” Kelly said. “We were kids when we first dated and never imagined we would end up together later.”

ITS NEVER TOO LATE

After her first husband passed away, Tammy Perotte Sears was not looking to get back into the dating scene. In fact, she says she was “scared to death” just thinking about it. At 46 years old, she was ready to call it quits, but love wasn’t.

Perotte Sears had met her soon-to-be first husband when she was only 15 years old, so her experiences with dating were already slim. Regardless, she soon became unexpectedly close with one of her late husband’s good friends and things escalated from there.

“When you’re out there making it a quest, that’s probably when its not going to happen. Love comes at the least expected time and in the least expected places and people,” Perotte Sears said.